CONDITIONS A CERTAIN RESPONSE

When you experience abuse, you learn what you need to do to survive. What this negative education teaches you is how to respond to others, no matter the situation.

For example, you may respond to your boss, a friend, or a romantic partner in a negative way and not really know why.

The deeper reason is that your past has conditioned you to respond that way. Most often, it stems from a need for self-protection from feeling defenseless. Or your response may even be colored with submission.

PROMOTES A CONSTANT SEARCH FOR VALIDATION

Childhood abuse is well-known for producing “clingy” or “needy” adults. Although this assumption isn’t entirely accurate, there is a bit of truth to it.

Really, the scars of childhood abuse may leave you searching for validation. That’s because your painful history has engraved on your heart that you must behave in a certain way to be loved and approved, no matter how much it hurts you.

Abuse forces you to ask, “How much do I have to hurt for you (your abuser) to be happy?”

With this idea shoved to the forefront of your mind as a child, you likely felt worthless and invalidated as a person.

DECREASES SELF-ESTEEM

When you don’t feel like there was much worth placed on you as a child or earlier in your life, it will likely be hard to grasp your true worth.

Those who never encounters the pangs of childhood abuse may not understand this internal battle. Although you didn’t choose this fight, claiming your self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence may indeed be a daily battle.

Looking in the mirror may be a challenge. It’s not uncommon to look at yourself and see someone who is unworthy or not good enough.

When you experience abuse, your actions determine your worth. And this idea sticks with you.

BUILDS AN UNSTABLE EMOTIONAL FOUNDATION

All abuse is painful. Along with possibly hurting you physically or mentally, it most definitely hurts you emotionally. After all, abuse is a betrayal of trust. When a child loses trust in someone or something, the ripple effect is far-reaching.

The scars from abuse inhibit emotional intelligence. Almost as if there was a blockage somewhere along the lines.

Many people with childhood abuse in their past don’t know how to establish personal boundaries. You may also feel “selfish” for drawing a line in the sand when someone treats you poorly.

Furthermore, you may not understand things like trust, love, or loyalty because these were all presented to you in a twisted way.

CREATES INTIMACY ISSUES

No matter if the abuse you suffered was sexual or if it was another kind altogether (verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual), the scars often make intimacy difficult.

And intimacy is necessary for successful romances and friendships.

However, you may find that you can extend your emotions only so far. As if they’re leashed. Conversely, you may feel numb, detaching yourself from feelings altogether—and from people.

Although you may desire to feel close to another person, your childhood scars may prevent that from happening.

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Recovering from childhood abuse is a process, rebuilding a base or building a foundtation that may have never existed. Therapy can help you to navigate through confusing emotions and empower you with skills to cope with a painful past.

For more information on Abuse Therapy click here.

If you’re ready to begin your journey to healing from childhood abuse, please contact me at (303) 803-3127 or (719) 629-7113.