The aftermath of psychological abuse often brings up the question, “What is wrong with me?”

Followed by a personal vow to do all that is within your power never to experience that particular horror again.

If this is you, you’re on the right track. Educating yourself on the ins and outs of psychological abuse not only encourages recovery but is a vital step in the right direction.

Essentially, in wanting to know what drives it and how you can recovery from psychological abuse, you are on the path to healing already.

But that’s just for starters.

Why Do Others Abuse You?

Abusive people typically fall under the category of being a narcissist, sociopath, or psychopath.

Unlike the movies portray, you rub shoulders every day with people embodying these toxic conditions. They’re not frightfully masked terrors. Rather, they’re colleagues, romantic partners, family members, etc.

Until they show you their true colors, they remain incognito.

The reason they abuse you is that, in their world, they are the only one who matters. Abusing you grants them access to an endless supply of power and entitlement. In short, they get what they want however they can. 

What About You Attracts Abusive People?  

Perhaps experiencing psychological abuse made you feel like someone stuck a “kick me” sign on your back. Instead of kicking, though, your abuser manipulated, lied to, and gaslighted you.

Take heart in knowing that you didn’t invite the abuse. There is nothing deep-founded or innately wrong with you, as your abuser tried desperately to convince you of.  

But they were attracted to you. And your abuser did target you. Why?

Perhaps you had an abusive childhood, conditioning you to miss abusive red flags. Or, you are kind and generous, setting you up as the perfect person to drain emotionally and financially.

Keep in mind that abusers don’t necessarily target a weakness. Like a leach, they target a throbbing vein to keep their facade going.

Introspection will give you the answers you deserve. Take time to examine the patterns in your life and be open to seeing the parts of you that abusers want to use.

Allow Your Body Time to Adjust  

Dealing with psychological abuse for any period of time will cause you to be anxious. The walking on eggshells, constant barrage of lies or threats, and the mind games will send your nervous system into overdrive mode.

Right after removing the toxic person from your life, you may have felt a sort of “absence.” This feeling may have even been uncomfortable. After all, you were used to the high-stress lifestyle.

It’s time to move from an anxious way of surviving to embrace some much-needed tranquility. But this isn’t automatic. It will take time for your body to get used to it. So, be patient with your body and yourself in general. Allow your autonomic nervous system to adjust from the fight-or-flight mode to what’s called the rest and digest mode.

You can help yourself do this by practicing deep belly breathing, acknowledging your feelings as they come and letting them pass, and reminding yourself that you’re safe now.

Embrace a Mindset Reset

As you may have realized, anxiety from psychological abuse infiltrates your entire being. From the whirlwind of thoughts to the aching in your gut, it can rue the day.

It can be hard to get out of that self-depraving thinking pattern established by the abuser.

To help you see yourself in a pure and accurate light, it’s important to educate yourself on what happened to you. You’ll likely experience an entire spectrum of emotions as you read up on psychological abuse tactics and strategies.

But this is part of recovery.

Understanding the abuse will give you the strength to challenge negative thoughts and silence your inner critic. Feeling empowered, you will be able to love yourself again. And that’s something you probably haven’t felt for a long time.

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Understanding what drives psychological abuse can be mind-blowing. It can also impact you deeply knowing you were a victim and now a survivor.

Uncovering the abusive methods toxic people exact upon their victims makes you less likely to be one in the future. As mentioned before, it’s all part of recovery.  

For more information on Abuse Therapy click here.